


Only Us

by Sha_Ocean



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Adorable Connor, Connor Deserves Happiness, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Only Us, Tree Bros, cute..kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:20:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sha_Ocean/pseuds/Sha_Ocean
Summary: Connor and Evan were spending some time in Evan's room. They've been dating for 2 months now and Larry still didn't accept it. So they always went to Evan's place. Heidi was really supportive and treated Connor like her own son, much to Connor's relief. He wasn't used to being liked by other people, especially by parents. They always called him "the stoner" or "freak". He's just the outcast with the anger issues,who skips school regularly and always smells like weed.





	Only Us

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love this song and thought I'd make a little AU out of it. 
> 
> And yes I know that I basicially just quoted the song and yes I know that I kinda changed some of the lyrics. 
> 
> Maybe some will enjoy it anyways.

Connor and Evan were spending some time in Evan's room. They've been dating for 2 months now and Larry still didn't accept it. So they always went to Evan's place. Heidi was really supportive and treated Connor like her own son, much to Connor's relief. He wasn't used to being liked by other people, especially by parents. They always called him "the stoner" or "freak". He's just the outcast with the anger issues,who skips school regularly and always smells like weed.

So this whole situation with Evan was different. It was his first real friend in years and his first relationship ever. He never really believed in love. He didn't think it was for him. But Evan was there for him and understood him a way no one ever did before. Connor felt safe. When he was with Evan he was home. He was less angry. He didn't smoke any weed, "only" cigarettes from time to time but only when everything was too much. He laughed a lot more, pretty much on a daily basis. He took more care of himself. Connor wasn't an unhygenic person, it was just hard for him to look after himself. He forgot to brush his hair or didn't shower for a straight week, because he couldn't bring himself to actually do it. But it got better. He got better. Evan was good for him. He wasn't totally sure , if he was good enough for Evan, he just hoped he was. 

The relationship also had good affects on Evan. Connor was his first real friend in years, besides Jared (which treated him like an option for years, before it all changed and Jared actually realised how much he needs Evan and their frienship). Connor was his first boyfriend. His first relationship in general. For the most part of his life he thought he was straight, but apparently he was wrong, and he's never been so happy about being wrong in his entire life. He craved love for a really long time, but it never worked out. But with Connor it finally clicked. It just works. When he's with Connor he feels calm. Connor is his safe haven. Evan became a bit more calm in general. He bit his nails less. He fidgeted less with his shirt. Evan worked on his confidence. Connor was good for him. He just knew it. But was he really good enough for Connor ? 

Evan and Connor were laying around on Evan's bed. Evan's head rested on Connor's chest. Connor's breathing and heartbeat always calmed him down. Some pop-punk song was quietly playing in the background. Evan never listened to it, but Connor introduced him to it and Evan really liked it. Connor was absendmindly playing with Evan's hair. They were just enjoying each other's company. This is all Evan ever wanted. 

But did Connor want this ? Did he really want this ? What if Connor was only with him because he pitied him ? Because Connor felt bad for him ? What if this was just a joke or a bet ? Connor could never want this. He could never want Evan. Who wants Evan anyway ? No one ever noticed him or cared. Why should Connor ? The only person, that cared for all these years, was his mom and she probably did it , because that's what moms are supposed to do. She'd be better off without him. She'd have more money. She wouldn't have to work that much. She wouldn't have to pay for therapy or Evan's clothes or food or his meds. She wouldn't be so worried and disappointed all the time. She could go out more and maybe even date someone. She probably didn't date anyone because of him. What kind of son did that make him ? His mom deserved better. Connor deserved better. Sooner or later he'd just leave and Evan would fall back into that hole again, deeper than before. 

Evan's breathing picked up. His breaths were shallow and fast. His hands were sweaty and his heart was racing. 

"Evan ? Hey ? I need you to calm down. What's wrong ? Hey, look at me." Connor said. He tried to sound relaxed, but you could hear the nervous undertone. Connor already helped him trough so many anxiety/panic attacks, but he still gets nervous everytime. "Evan? Can you hear me?" Connor sat up and made Evan sit up with him. Evan was now facing him. Connor took Evan's right hand and placed it on his chest, right over his heart. This way Evan could still feel Connor's heartbeat. "Evan, please breathe with me. I'm here. Please, calm down.

Evan started to focus more and more on Connor's breathing and heartbeat. His heartbeat slowed down, his breathing became more steady and his vision started to become clearer. 

"Evan ? Can you hear me now?" Evan finally looked at Connor, realising he's there. "What happened ? You just panicked all out a sudden. You know you can talk to me. I love you." 

Evan's hand was still on Connor's chest. He started to grip Connor's hoodie. He couldn't tell him. Connor would think he overreacted and then he'd leave. Sooner or later he would anyway, just like everyone else does.   
"It-It's real dumb. It's okay. I'm fi-fine now. I-i didn't mean to sc-scare you." He said, but he still didn't meet Connor's gaze. He just knew, if he looked into his intense blue eyes, he'd start crying. And he didn't wanna cry infront of him anymore.   
"You're such a bad liar. Please don't shut me out. Talk to me."   
"D-don't laugh at me and don't h-hate me, ok-kay?" Evan still avoided Connor's gaze.   
"I won't, I promise and I couldn't hate you." Connor gave Evan's right hand a reassuring squeeze. Evan sighed.   
"B-be honest. Do you w-want this? D-do you r-really want this ? I'd u-understand, if you wouldn't w-want this. I-i mean, I'm me. I-I mean l-look at me. And then l-look at you. B-but I also h-have some g-good qualities. Like I-i love you and I-i care and I-i can cook,k-kinda-"Suddenly Connor pressed his lips on Evan's. 

"I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you. I don't need you to search for the proof that I should. You don't have to convince me. You don't have to be scared you're not enough. 'Cause what we've got going is good." Evan looked up and looked at Connor's face. Connor was smiling at him with such adoration in his eyes that Evan's chest ached.  
"B-but because o-of me you and L-larry are c-constantly fighting. I-it's only m-my fault." Evan looked away again. He knew Connor's and Larry's relationship has never been the best, but it just got worse since they were together.   
"Evan. I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken. I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget. Clear the slate and start over. Try to quiet the noises in your head, we can't compete with all that." Connor gave him a reassuring smile. 

"Wh-what if y-your dad is right a-and th-this is wrong? L-like we b-barely knew each o-other when w-we started t-to d-date..-"

"So what if it's us ? What if it's us and only us? And what came before won't count anymore or matter? Can we try that?" Evan nodded. "What if it's you and what if it's me and what if that's all we need it to be? And the rest of the world falls away. What do you say?" Connors eyes were full of hope.

Evan took a deep breath. "I never thought there'd be someone like you would want me." Evan let out a little giggle.

"Well.." Connor also left out a small giggle. 

"So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go. But if you really see me, if you like me for me, if you like me for me and nothing else..Well that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know."

Evan smiled at Connor, who looked expectantly at him. 

"So, it can be us. It can be us. And only us. And what came before won't count anymore or matter. We can try that." Evan added. Connor smiled brightly at him. 

"I guess it's not so impossible." Connor said. "Nobody else but the two of us here."

"Cause you're saying it's possible. We can just watch the whole world disappear. " Evan responded. 

Connor leaned forward and kissed Evan. "You're the only one I see. You and me. That's all we need it to be. And the rest of the world falls away."

"I love you, Connor."

"I know. And I love you too." Connor laid back down and pulled Evan down with him, so Evan's head rested on his chest once again. 

They'll be okay. They'd make it work.


End file.
